Further investigation has revealed that David Cameron's real identity is that of 'Beano', a former fire-eater and 'anarcho-clown' from Dundee, whose fellow squatter 'Wotsit' is now better known as George Osborne.
Julian Cook, chief conspiracy analyst at Donnelly-McPartlin, said: "The people who are now running the G20 countries actually met at an illegal acid house party in 1991. "Angela Merkel, Nicolas Sarkozy, David Cameron et al – as they're now known – were a group of radical young idealists who all collided at a warehouse rave, ripped to the tits on powerful 'California Sunrise' ecstasy tablets.
"That night they all shared a joint on a fire escape as the sun came up, pledging that they would make it their life's works to infiltrate and destroy 'the system', replacing it with something vague where everyone grows their own vegetables and has lots of sex. “And thanks to exceptional determination, they may just have pulled it off.”
Meanwhile speculation has emerged that Occupy protesters who had allegedly defecated inside St Paul's cathedral are members of an underground pro-wealth group calling itself Chablis Splendide whose agenda is to discredit the anti-capitalist movement. Plumber and father-of-two Tom Logan said: “Whatever the hell is going on, I've stopped trying to understand it.
"That night they all shared a joint on a fire escape as the sun came up, pledging that they would make it their life's works to infiltrate and destroy 'the system', replacing it with something vague where everyone grows their own vegetables and has lots of sex. “And thanks to exceptional determination, they may just have pulled it off.”
Meanwhile speculation has emerged that Occupy protesters who had allegedly defecated inside St Paul's cathedral are members of an underground pro-wealth group calling itself Chablis Splendide whose agenda is to discredit the anti-capitalist movement. Plumber and father-of-two Tom Logan said: “Whatever the hell is going on, I've stopped trying to understand it.
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