The colossal waste of the war in Afghanistan:
''What the hell have we been doing there? And why? When we invaded in 2001, i.e., when this year's college freshmen were younger than my eight-month-old son, our stated objective was to find and kill Osama bin Laden. Despite our best efforts, he managed to slip out of his cave and make his way to neighboring Pakistan, where he spent his long retirement reflecting on his achievements and enjoying his vast collection of pornography.''
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